birth.

*UPDATED on 7 September 2013, with some crappy iPhone photos I found from this lovely day! Nothing graphic, do not worry. Unless looking at IVs grosses you out. But that's as racy as this gets*

So with the birth of this new blog, and the birth of our new baby girl, it's only right that I share the birth story that I know some of you have been anxiously waiting to hear.

If you don't want to hear it, look away! And don't say I didn't warn you.

*ahem*
It was an early July morning, nearly 23 years ago, and five days past the due date -
- oh wait. you didn't want THAT birth story?! my bad. let's try this again...

Starting the day off right. This started as a "just in case" IV line

As some of you already know, I'd been having prodromal labor on and off for about two weeks. Genuine contractions that were quite bothersome, but would start and stop randomly. The midwife told me to wait until there was a definite change in intensity before coming in to the hospital....as in, I couldn't carry on a conversation or I started crying. Things like that.

That happened Sunday morning, shortly after I woke up. Right out of nowhere. POW. I knew they were the "real" ones, because they made me cry and say things like "I CAN'T DO THIS!"
Luckily my husband reminded me of all the lovely relaxation and breathing I'd been practicing, and that my body was MADE for this, and I calmed down. Once I remembered to breathe and stuff, they actually weren't painful to me. Intense and uncomfortable, yes, and there was a lot of pressure...but I wouldn't describe it as pain. Unless I was sitting down. When I had to sit in the car ride, and sit on the table so they could take my blood pressure/place an IV/etc...there was definitely some jaw-clenching going on.

Anyway. The midwife came in to check on things, and told me the contractions wouldn't get any stronger/feel any different from here on out...they'd just get closer together and it was an endurance thing.
SWEET! I thought I was golden. I could handle this, I was well-rested, and they let me eat in the delivery room to boot!
Also, I was finally dilated to a 3 (after being at a 2 for almost an entire month).

She also mentioned that my blood pressure looked a bit high for me, and there was protein in my urine, so they drew some blood and ran some tests to make sure I didn't have pre-eclampsia.
I thought nothing of it.

I hopped in the shower, ate some of my Chris' Subway sandwich, and was super happy and proud of my body for doin' it's thang. I was stoked to see my baby girl soon. And I was still kind of freaked out about pushing.

Then the midwife came back -- I did have pre-eclampsia after all.
(they aren't sure what causes this condition, but all signs point to the placenta. It's indicated by high blood pressure and protein urea. If it isn't controlled it can lead to seizures and/or hemorrhaging. And the only "cure" is giving birth and delivering that darn placenta.)
This meant: constant monitoring. IV hook-ups. No more walking around. More blood being drawn. Another IV placed. Getting this baby out ASAP.
I was told that one of the IV drips (magnesium sulfate) would cause me to feel drowsy, thick-headed, hot, and generally icky. It was suggested that I think about getting an epidural catheter placed, because my blood platelet count was slowly dropping (which means the blood won't clot), so if there was an emergency later on and they needed an epidural anesthetic....they wouldn't be able to place the line then (because I'd bleed all over the place).

I was unhappy, to say the least. I'd been hoping to have an un-medicated birth, with no interventions. But with these new developments, interventions were inevitable. It's what was best to ensure the health of me and my precious baby.

The IV's went in straight away. They were right about the magnesium - I hadn't felt that awful since my first trimester (when nausea and vomiting kept me from leaving the house and I had a steady diet of saltines and apple juice for weeks on end...and that was only after I started taking Zofran).
I cried. Chris and I prayed together. I decided to get an epidural.
It made my legs tingle incessantly, and whatever wasn't tingling started itching like crazy.

The nurses were so sweet - they knew I hadn't wanted any of this. "There, the pain is gone! Don't you feel great?!" -- I tried to smile back. But the truth is, I was much more comfortable I was before all these extra drugs were being pumped into my body. I would've traded contractions for how I felt right then.

The midwife came in to check on my progess about two hours later. I was only dilated to a 4. She broke my water. And then we had surprise #2: meconium (pun intended. bahahaha, I am so funny.)
SO, not only was our goal to get this baby out as fast as possible, but after she was born she would be handed immediately to a pediatrician who would try to suction out her airways before she took her first breath. Because breathing poo into your lungs isn't necessarily a good thing, even more so when you're a brand-new baby.

All of my lovely fluid accessories on the IV stand. Upper left is water/fluids for dehydration, the small one on the upper right is the magnesium sulfate [which would run out every two hours and beep incessantly and only ONE nurse [in recovery] was ever on top of changing it, so I always got air bubbles in that line - ouch] - or wait maybe that was the pitocin?? The pitocin was somewhere in there...And the greenish box below is the epidural juice with accompanying warnings tags, etc. Also I guess Daisy's heart rate had dropped to 129 at the time of this photo, and I wasn't having a contraction.

my other view, for the. entire. day. they kept the lights down for me and the blinds drawn, thank goodness, and I didn't even turn the TV on because the speakers were ON the bed, right by my ears, and gave me a headache. So Chris and I pretty much just sat in the dark all day. Fun times.

ANYWAY. The day went on, I tried to sleep but all I got were weird drugged dreams. I ate lots of jello and popsicles. They put me on pitocin. Things still weren't moving along. They upped the pitocin and placed an internal monitor.

showing off my sweet gear, trying to be happy while Chris was taking a brief respite to get some food and junk from home

I don't even know what time it was when the nurse finally had me try pushing and proclaimed me ready for the home stretch. [haha, more puns. that one was accidental though!]

blood pressure cuff! programmed to monitor blood pressure every 20mins or so. I was feeling pretty tough [but battered] at this point. Glad to see I still had my sense of humor, because all I remember is being cranky and unpleasant!

Pushing was my least favorite. I don't really want to talk about it. But eventually I figured out how to push effectively, and I squeezed my husbands' hand off, and the midwife was so patient and awesome that I only ended up with one tiny tear and one stitch.

I could not believe how huge my daughter looked right after she was born. Where did I keep her?! And at 8lbs 11oz...she was quite a little chunk. But the most beautiful one I had ever seen :)

And she was awesome enough to wait for the pediatrician to clear her airways before crying!
She really was a champ through the whole thing, though. Super active and kicking down to the last minute, with a healthy heart rate to boot. One problem they have with pre-eclamptic labors is that the baby will go into distress....thus necessitating a C-section, episiotomy, or other such interventions. So I'm super proud of my little Daisy - being born is hard work and she was such a champ!!

Anyway. We stayed an extra day at the hospital so they could monitor the pre-eclampsia. I was put back on the magnesium the next morning and given a fluid restriction that day...so it was not a fun day either. I was miserable and out of it and couldn't sleep [until they gave me narcotics later on].
But I was so incredibly grateful for Chris and his awesome fathering skills!! He took such good care of Daisy - holding her, rocking her, and changing every. single. diaper. He is THE best. Hands down. All of the nurses loved him :)
And speaking of the nurses - they were all so awesome! I love, love, loved them.
Kaiser Redwood City is an incredible facility.
My baby was born and I am glad about it.

The thing I wasn't prepared for though is the shock after you give birth. I had the shakes the entire next day, and this sense of "WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED THAT WAS SO HARD I CAN'T BELIEVE EVERY WOMAN THAT HAS GIVEN BIRTH HAS BEEN THROUGH THAT"
Only recently have I been able to think back on that day without being re-traumatized with thoughts of pushing....slkjaflsanioaewhisjds.
Women are tough. REALLY tough. Tougher than we think we are.
And that is all I have to say about that.

- Rachel

Edited to add: yes...I was traumatized by pushing for a while. But after hearing stories from multiple friends about how they pushed for 3+ hours (one of which was my own mother)...I realized it wasn't so bad. I think I pushed for maybe 30-45 minutes? I didn't actually keep track of time. But I didn't push more than ten times total [AKA through ten contractions]...I think. All of the other drugs making me feel miserable, combined with the fact that I'd been in labor for 17 hours and hadn't slept or eaten anything substantial, kind of put me in a haze and exacerbated everything. It took me a little bit to figure out what was going on and what to do and how to breathe and relax during all of it. They gave me an oxygen mask to help me breathe, which was hard to keep on my face for some reason, and fell off at some point. I started saying "I feel light headed" and one of the pediatricians in the room came forward and put it back on my face for me.
Also I was angry that the epidural blocked out all feeling EXCEPT for the crowning business. I couldn't feel contractions, so I wasn't quite sure when to push, but I could feel that it hurt when I *did* push even if it wasn't during a contraction. Luckily the midwife gave me some local anesthetic for that [helpful]!
I hope that next time I'm able to be un-medicated, so I can use the contractions to my advantage! Figuring out how to push effectively was challenging under these circumstances, and I'd rather trust my instincts next time. Let's hope for no pre-eclampsia the second time around :)

Edited again 9/7/2013: Hey guess what?! Pushing doesn't freak me out anymore! And Daisy is six freaking months old!! And I'm to a point where I'm not afraid to go through it all again. THAT IS NOT TO SAY THAT I AM PREGNANT AGAIN. But I'm not afraid for the next time it happened :)